Frequently Asked Questions

Often, trauma is thought of as extreme events where someone was injured, assaulted or died. However, trauma can be any event that leads an individual to experience symptoms that disrupt their daily lives.  Are you isolating yourself from friends and loved ones? Are you having difficulty sleeping, eating or concentrating? Do you find it difficult to manage your emotions, especially anger and fear? Do you avoid places or people that remind you of what happened? Do you experience anxiety or depression due to what happened? If you answer yes to these, trauma therapy can be helpful for you. 

That depends on the severity of your traumatic experience and how badly it is affecting your ability to function throughout your day. Counseling may last anywhere from weekly visits for 3-12 months or longer. Again, it depends on your level of trauma and how consistent you are in doing therapy.

Great question! Here is an example: someone coming to therapy for ADHD will learn skills to help them manage their ADHD which is a neurodevelopmental disorder. However, someone coming in for trauma, though they may have some of the same “symptoms” as ADHD (i.e. difficulty concentrating and managing emotions, restlessness) will be treated for the psychological and physiological symptoms they experience due to trauma.  

It is a therapeutic approach that aims to treat the trauma without re-triggering the individual. The emphasis is on the psychological, physiological and emotional safety of the individual to help them feel empowered and in control of their life.

That depends. Do you have maladaptive coping strategies as an adult that is a result of your childhood trauma? Does your childhood trauma affect your current relationships? If the answer is yes, therapy could be beneficial.

Absolutely not! I welcome all emotions in sessions. My office is your safe space to process what has happened in a confidential and supportive environment free from judgement.

That is where I come in! Together we work to unravel the trauma and unpack it. Complex trauma such as this may take longer to work through, but therapy could make your life feel more manageable.

To be honest, trauma therapy is hard work. I tell clients that it often feels like things feel worse before they feel better. That is most often the case as we do trauma work. However, over time, it starts to feel easier as clients’ skills sets and understanding increase. Clients often express relief that they continued therapy as they notice an increase in emotional regulation and daily functioning.

I have additional training in trauma and am a Clinical Trauma Specialist. I am also trained in EMDR which is a gold standard for trauma care. EMDR is widely recognized as an evidence based and effective treatment for a variety of trauma types including but not limited to accidents, assaults, and natural disasters. 

Awesome! I would love to answer them. Please reach out for a free 20-minute phone or telehealth consultation to see how I can help.

Of course! That is a perfect time to come to counseling to learn basic communication skills and to address any concerns you may have about marriage before it becomes a bigger issue.

Anything! This is your session. Whatever needs you have as a couple can be discussed. (yes, even sex). Deep breath. Whatever we talk about in session is completely confidential.

Most definitely! In fact, it is possible to rebuild a marriage that is stronger after infidelity. However, that requires a lot of work from both partners. I have additional training in infidelity and betrayal trauma. It will require patience with each other and oneself to work through, but trust can be re-established. Infidelity does not have to mean the end of a relationship.

That depends on what the issues are in the relationship, and the effort of the couple. Homework is assigned to help couples work on new skills throughout the week until the next session. The more consistent the effort and practice, the quicker the results. And doing homework perfectly is never expected or realistic.

I understand that concern. Couples counseling can have a negative stigma associated with it. I can promise a judgement free zone in my office. Your issues will never be too big or too shameful. Whatever is shared in my office will be kept confidential. Over time though, don’t be surprised if you start to share with people that you go to couples’ counseling. It is more common than you would think!

If your partner is unable to attend sessions from time to time, you are welcome to come alone. However, the goal is to have both partners there most weeks.

You can come on your own for an individual session and together we can discuss how to share this information with your partner.

Sometimes during a 50-minute session, we are in thick of some good conversations and a-ha moments, and it is time to end our session. Counseling intensives offer us a block of time (2 or 3 hours) to really do a deep dive into what is going on in your relationship. They are more expensive than traditional 50 min. sessions but can be incredibly helpful.

Of course! The 3-hour intensive would be perfect for engaged couples, newlyweds or couples who would like a basic relationship tune-up. I do need to do an intake on every couple that comes into session, so that would account for the first hour. That would leave us 2 additional hours to learn some of the basics covered in couples counseling. You can then decide if that was all you needed or if you would like a little more help.

Awesome! I would love to answer them. Please reach out for a free 20-minute phone or telehealth consultation to see how I can help.

Yes! Grief can be extremely hard on a relationship. I welcome couples coming together and getting some tools to help you navigate and process your loss.

We will discuss your loss and the impact that it has on your life. My job as your therapist is to facilitate a space where you can feel safe to express all the emotions that come with grief: anger, depression, sadness, fear, guilt, betrayal, confusion and yes, even joy, and hope.

Yes. Grief is complicated, messy and disorienting. Common symptoms include wanting to isolate yourself from people, sleep disturbance, eating too much or not at all, physical pains, emotional torment, and pining for the one that you lost. These, and many more, are all normal.

That depends. There are some grief therapies that are strictly structured from 8-16 sessions. (about 2-4 months total). Because those sessions are very structured, we do not venture off topic. It is a little more rigid and might not be for everyone. The other option is to help you process your grief organically, which may take longer. The benefit to that is we have the flexibility to address things weekly as you need. Both approaches are helpful, and it comes down to what you would prefer. The ultimate purpose of both is to make sure that you can process your grief in a healthy manner, and to give you hope for a future that is still worth living.

Absolutely. There are many situations that we experience where grief will be present. For example: Divorce, faith transition, medical diagnosis, infidelity, loss of job, retirement, becoming an empty nester, moving, and unmet expectations are a few where you can experience grief. Society (or even family and friends) may not recognize those as things you should grieve. We refer to this as disenfranchised grief.

Yes. We refer to this type of grief as anticipatory grief. This type of grief is experienced when we anticipate a loss and start grieving before it happens. This can be very confusing as our loved one is still with us, but our hearts are so heavy. On a smaller scale, we can also experience this type of grief during moments like retirement or our kids leaving for college. We may be excited for this next chapter of our life but feel some grief at the same time as we recognize the things we will miss with the change.

No. Unfortunately, after about 3 months, people have moved on with their lives and those who are grieving are left to navigate their loss alone. People who do not understand grief may tell you that you should “be over it” by now, or that your loved one “is in a better place.” Such platitudes are often more harmful than helpful. They can feel invalidating. People who do not understand grief are often wanting you to be back to your “old self.” That simply is not possible. Your old self died with your loved one. As your therapist, I help you deal with the reality of your loss and teach you coping skills to help you process your grief as you learn to navigate life without your loved one. Our last goal in therapy is to help the “new” you move forward in life, recognizing that life can still hold joy even after loss.

It could certainly help you. The first hour would be spent doing an intake, allowing me to have some information about your situation, leaving the remaining 2 hours to give you the basics of grief and some tools to help you. Of course, when we are talking about longevity of grief, a 3-hour intensive will not solve all problems but can give you a foundation and some skills to start. If what you are processing is smaller than the loss of a loved one, perhaps, a one time 3-hour intensive would be perfect. At the end of the intensive, you can always sign up for additional sessions. (individual session or another intensive session) according to your needs.

Not necessarily. Many people experience grief and can manage without counseling. The question I would ask is, how much is your grief affecting the way you live your life? At the beginning, it will affect your life greatly. That is to be expected. What should naturally start happening is the further away you get from the loss, the more you are able to resume your normal activities, albeit, with greater difficulty than before the loss. However, if you find yourself feeling stuck, hopeless, distraught, or isolating and unable to do basic self-care (bathing, brushing your teeth, getting out of bed, etc.), I would recommend making an appointment.

Awesome! I would love to answer them. Please reach out for a free 20-minute phone or telehealth consultation to see how I can help.